Season Two, Episode Sixteen: The Art of Letting Go

Persistence versus wishful thinking/stupidity... When does one end and the other begin? Or are they just different sides of the same coin?

In life, how do we know when to persevere and when to give up? When do we fight on and when do we throw in the towel and wave the white flag?

For the most part, I would say I'm pretty realistic. I know my capabilities and my (ever increasing) shortcomings, and so, in most endeavors that I encounter, I can assess whether or not the task on hand is within my grasps, a bit of a reach, or has a meteor-landing-on-your-house probability of happening.

One of the things that I've learned to let go were grades. Coming into undergrad, I was that typical Honors/AP student, the go-getter and overachieving type. That big fat C in General Chemistry fall quarter of freshman year was all it took to derail me from that "straight A's" train that I was so certain I wanted to be a part of. At that moment in time, I had a realization that while grades matter to a certain extent, it wasn't the "end-all-be-all" that I thought at the time, and that learning was more important that regurgitation. It's not so much that I lost the will to persevere to get the good grades. I just came into the realization that it was displaced wishful thinking to strive to have a letter grade represent my capabilities.

These past two years, when I took on what seemingly were too many responsibilities, I definitely had my trying moments. I'm the first one to admit that there were times where I felt I was a bit over my head, overwhelmed with the responsibilities that came with each position. But I was confident in my abilities and my resolve, and even more so, I was confident in my support system. Sure, there were times when I felt like giving up, but I had my friends' and family's unrelenting support and I was able to get through some rough patches.

When it comes to relationships (or potential relationships), I'd like to think that the same axiom holds true for me. However, to me, it becomes exponentially murky and befuddling. It's always a see-saw battle of giving up versus fighting through, but when I fight through, more often than not, I feel like I'm swinging with my one of my hands tied behind my back, an eye patch on one eye and in a really foggy area in the midst of a vast quicksand.

To make matters more complex, I tend to be ATTRACTED to a lot of people, but when it comes to LIKING someone, I'm a bit more selective. So, when I actually find that SOMEONE that crossed the attraction threshold into the "like" category, I tend to pursue it like there's no tomorrow, to the occasional chagrin of some of my friends.

In terms of relationships, how do I know when to give up and when to keep pursuing someone? How often must we put ourselves in a vulnerable position to find out the answer? How often am I willing to stick my neck out and put my ego on the line? For me, I think about the potential gains versus the perceived risks, but more importantly, I think about the person that I'm interested in and see if he's worth all the "trouble". At the same time, everything is magnified, every text message overanalyzed, every Facebook status update scrutinized, every brief encounter replayed over and over searching for clues to lead me one way or the other.

I don't have all the answers; I might never do, but one thing is certain: I won't pretend that I know all there is to it about relationships, and that's where my trusted friends enter the picture. Sometimes, when we're involved with someone, we can develop myopic viewpoints and tangential conclusions; getting a different perspective from another person that you trust can only help. Not to say that I solely rely on their inputs to dictate what I do (last time I check, I still had a functioning brain), but I definitely take their opinions into consideration.

So you ask why not just ask straight up, right? As much as this is what I would do in any other situation, sadly, as I've been told by countless friends, the "games" are necessary evils, especially in a budding relationship. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that concept; the jury's still out on this one, but for now, I'll begrudgingly play along.

I'd like to say that I have the relationship quagmire as figured out as other aspects of my life, but sadly, this isn't the case. Is it worth all the trouble? I'd like to think to think that somewhere in the galaxy, there's that person that will make all that persistence worth it. Here's to hoping that I've found him already.

Season Two, Episode Fifteen: Intern in the City

The last few weeks have been kind of a blur. I remember taking my last Therapeutics final EVER. Then there was that 20 minute Health Economics final. Then I remember having my Therapeutics Oral Exam with Dr. Lee about a patient who has a cryptococcus infection. Then somehow, we were all done.

It was a bit anticlimactic. We had different scheduled times for the Oral Exams, and since the Oral Exams were our last final EVER, we all got done in different times. But for the most part, it was surreal. I've spent the last 8 quarters with my classmates, trudging through 8 am classes (some during our third year! How unfair is that!), frantically reviewing (or in some cases viewing) notes for an upcoming exam and having the time of our lives as we traverse through pharmacy school with a wonderful city like San Francisco as a backdrop (or in some cases, a critical co-star). And now the moment has finally come when we went our separate ways, albeit temporarily. For most of them, the next time we'll see each other will be during Graduation (in May 2011). I am one of the "lucky" ones to call San Francisco home for the next 9 months for rotations, but some of my dear friends have been assigned to the other satellite rotation sites for UCSF like Davis, Fresno (Fres-YES!), LA/OC, North Bay, and South Bay.

However, it felt good to be finally be done with didactic learning! Well technically for me, I still have a quarter left of classes (since I'm part of the Health Policy and Management pathway), so not really, but for the most part, we've all reached the point where we can apply all the theoretical knowledge that we've managed to soak up (or cram in some instance) and practice it in real-life patient interactions.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous about this impending change. Rotations are a big deal. We're not playing with made-up patient cases anymore, so if I forget the dose on the test, in the grand scheme of things it's not that big of a deal, but now, we're dealing with actual people now, with presenting cases that are not as clear-cut or as neatly arranged for us. There's no "problem list" for us to look at and know what to deal with. For the most part though, I was very excited to start rotations. I'm the kind of person that learns a lot more effectively when I put concepts into practice.

So far, my life outside of pharmacy didactic learning is going well. For my first rotation block, I was assigned to Ambulatory Care for 6 weeks then followed by a week break, and then my General Medicine Acute Care block for 6 weeks. The last two six-week block will be my electives (Acute Care Pain Management at VA-SF, and Hospital Administration at SFGH).

After talking to a few of my classmates, I'm definitely glad that I started my rotations with Ambulatory Care. Coming into it, I've heard that it is a very doable rotation; not necessarily easy, but manageable. If this past week is a barometer, I'd say they were right on. I'm extremely happy so far with the clinics that I was assigned to. One of the things that I like about the Ambulatory Care set up is that I get to talk to patients one-on-one, and I get to manage their disease states or any acute disease they may be presenting with. Mostly though, I like the way the patients are receptive to our efforts, and that they are active participants in improving their health.

I'm partially dreading my upcoming block, because if it's anything like how my friends/classmates have described it, it'll be a seemingly impervious uphill climb a la 3^rd Avenue proportions. Heavy patient load (working up 18 patients a day is not unheard of), unreal expectations, copious amounts of stress and circling thoughts of imbecilities and uncertainties are all in a 12-hour-day's work (if not more). And you wake up early the next day for the next 5 days, and press repeat for the next 6 weeks.

But I feel as though this first six weeks will only help me prepare for the worst. I say this now, but we'll see if I'm still standing after this block.

PS: Last week's column was in fact an April Fools' Day edition of Single in the City. So, for the record, I'm still NOT engaged, and I didn't fly out to Milan. If only.

“Relapse” – Single in the City: Season Two, Episode Fourteen: Trouble in Paradise?

Last season, on Single in the City:

On Thursday, while we were enjoying the sunset at the cliffs, out of nowhere, he dropped in one knee (I know, how traditional of him), revealed this beautiful bracelet (because he knows I'm not a big fan of rings), asked for my hand and said "I'm yours forever, will you be mine?"

That was one of the happiest moments of my short but topsy-turvy life. The moment when Antoni Diamante asked me to be his forever. I didn't think I could feel that mushy, but in that instance I did, and every time I wear my Czech-glass-bead-adorned-bracelet, I do.

"Calm continueth not long without a storm." – Unknown, 1576

Oh, the engaged life, it can be fickle at times. On top of that, trying to live out a long-distance engagement makes life a bit more complicated.

It's been about year since Antoni and I have been engaged. For the most part, things are going well between Antoni and me. He finished his PhD Fellowship in Architecture from Sapienza Universita di Roma this past summer, and he was quite fortunate enough in this global economic climate to secure a plum position as an Associate Architect at Mario Bellini Associati (the same firm that has secured prestigious appointments such as the National Gallery of Victoria in Melbourne, the Tokyo Design Center, and the Museum of Islamic Art at the Louvre in Paris). Being a new associate to the firm, he's trying his earnest to make a good impression, and with it comes long hours, herculean tasks, and demanding clients. Needless to say, he is a bit short on time. However, he has made the effort of visiting me twice since he's moved to Milan for work. And we try to schedule a weekly Skype chat session to keep contact, though the 9 hour difference can make making time for a weekly chat a struggle at times. But again, anything that's worth having is worth all the work, right?

So you may ask yourself, what IS the problem? The last time he was in town, it was a week before my finals. I told him that I won't have much time to hang out since I would be busy freaking out and cramming for my last Therapeutics final. And also, it happened to be that the Saturday before my finals week was MHC's third monthly clinic.

Anthony is a volunteer at the clinic that I work for, MHC. He's a member of the Executive Committee (to which I am a part of also), and as such, we see each other frequently. We've also developed a friendly relationship, which would've been the source of contention as it turned out. I am the first one to admit that he's quite the good looking medical student that he is, but beyond that, there's nothing between us.

Antoni has seen a few photos of Anthony and I on Facebook (the evil big brother strikes again!) and there were some photos that were, in hindsight, a bit too friendly. Nothing scandalous or Lindsay-Lohan-esque, but viewed from a different perspective, it can be seen being suggestive and bubbling with intrigue. We'd talked about him before, and I thought we've ironed that problem out, but as I was about to find out, those pictures still bothered him.

When I told him that I have clinic that Saturday, he asked me who was going to be there. I didn't mind the question, but I answered it anyway. He asked if he (Anthony) was going to be there. I said: "yes, but why does that matter?" That's when he blew a gasket.

A simple argument turned into a full-fledged fight. That was the first time that I had ever seen him jealous. As in hopping mad, fuming-in-the-ear jealous. We had plans to spend my 11-day spring break in San Francisco, but he left for Milan 13 days early.

I thought of doing a "grand gesture" by flying to Milan during my spring break, and at first, I decided against it, mostly because of the hefty price tag that little act of love would've cost me (a shade under $1500). Was J-Lo right? Shouldn't love not cost a thing?

In the end, I ended up hopping on a redeye flight from San Francisco to Milan via Munich. When I finally tracked him down a few days later (he went to his grandparents in Tuscany), we hashed it out. He said that he needed a bit of time to think things through but that he still cares about me. Did we rush into this whole thing? Were we too blinded by that whirlwind winter romance two years ago in Paris? These were the questions that he had on his head, and the ones that he's looking for answers to in our time apart that he's requesting. He apologized for acting so brashly, but that at the time, that's how he felt. I apologize for not taking his feelings, and I understood that he needed time to figure things out.

Maybe because I was upset, maybe I was tired or maybe I thought my life my shattering, but as I was going through the security gates in the Malpensa Airport in Milan, I took off the bracelet, and as I was doing so, the bracelet snapped and the glass beads scattered all over the security checkpoint area. Was this a sign that things between Antoni and me are over? I want to believe that I can still repair the bracelet. There's still a chance of rainbow after the storm.

Episode Thirteen: Loan Repayments, anyone?

Instead of "cramming" for my Health Economics final, I opted to attend the lunch hour talk "Successful Strategies for Loan Repayment", hosted by the Student Financial Aid office and co-sponsored by the Student Activity Center. The featured speaker was Jeff Hanson, the Director of Borrower Education Services with Access Group. I was glad that I went; it was a better use of my time.

I pride myself in being able to take care of my financial responsibilities, but one of the things that I've not really put that much thought into was how exactly I was going to repay my student loans. All in all, I'm looking at a $140k+ incurred debt, including my undergraduate loans.

The Public Service Loan Forgiveness Program sounds enticing; the way it works is that you need to have worked full-time (working on average of at least 30 hours/week, or the number of hours the employer considers "full-time") for a total of 120 months in a "qualifying public service position" AND you've made 120 qualifying loan payments on Federal DIRECT Loans during period of qualifying public service employment. The "qualified" public service organization include federal, state, or local government organizations/agencies, and most charitable non-profit organizations (those that have received a 501(c)(3) designation from the IRS). The 120 months of full-time work and the 120 payments do not have to be consecutive. Fulfill those requirements, and the rest of the loan is forgiven. Sounds simple enough, but I'm not counting on this to make the debt disappear.

Jeff also went over the different repayment plans for Stafford, Grad PLUS, and consolidation loans: Standard (fixed), graduated, extended, income-sensitive and income-based repayment (IBR). The standard repayment schedule is a fixed payment structure for 10 years; the good thing about this plan is that you will incur the lowest total interest but the bad thing about this is that you'll have the highest initial payment. The graduated plan is a tiered payment structure for 10 years, with interest-only payments initially, and incremental increases on payment, with monthly payments not exceeding THREE times greater than any other payment ("3 times rule"). The extended repayment plan is a fixed or tiered payment structure for 25 years, with one of the lowest initial payments and NO income considerations. To qualify, the debt must be >$30,000 (I have MORE than that) and the loan must have been originated after October 1998 (that's still me). Income sensitive repayment (ISR) has an annually adjusted payment structure for 15 years based on Total Gross Income. ISR is also subject to the "3 times rule", and eligibility and payment amount is re-evaluated every year. IBR also has an annually adjusted payment structure, this time for 25 years, and is based on household Adjusted Gross Income (AGI), household size, poverty guidelines and State of residence. The poverty guidelines are based on the amount of debt, so for me, according to the 2009 Poverty Guidelines, the maximum AGI needed for me to qualify for IBR ($140k in debt), is $145,135, assuming a 6.8% interest rate, a household size of 1 residing in one of the 48 contiguous states. Also, to enter IBR, the borrower must have "partial financial hardship".

After listening to the speaker, I'm leaning towards using IBR or the extended repayment plan. One of the things that I took away from the talk was the idea of debt as a portfolio. I plan on using inflation to my advantage on this one. $140,000's value now is not going to be the same value 10 years or 25 years from now. I can use the money that I would save on the monthly payments and appropriate it to my other needs, perhaps increasing my retirement fund contribution, putting more on investments or having more disposable income.

To view the presentation and resource materials that was offered on March 16, go to https://finaid.ucsf.edu/events/117-successful-strategies-loan-repayment

Student Financial Aid is offering additional debt-management services this year. For additional information, please contact Annie Osborne, Resource Adviser, Student Financial Services at annie.osborne@ucsf.edu or call 476-4181.

Season Two, Episode Twelve: My Foray into Short Stories

In honor of Synapse's annual Tabula issue, I've decided to share the short story that I've submitted to NPR's "Three-Minute Fiction Round Three: Picture This", entitled: The Crossword Puzzle. The premise of this contest was to write a 600-word or less short-story inspired by the picture above.
Let me know what you guys think!
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To the outside world, twenty-five year old Chase De Argento seems to have it all: cushy job in the biotech industry that's both intellectually stimulating and financially stable? Check. A two-bedroom townhouse overlooking La Jolla Shores? Check. Voted by 944 Magazine as one of San Diego's most eligible bachelors in 2009? Check.

So when his job required him to relocate to the Bay area, he had his trepidations. He was leaving the life that he's known and grown accustomed to. His immediate relatives, with the exception of his paternal grandparents who still live in their villa in Tuscany, are all in San Diego. He was well-established in his career, and has a good close-knit of friends that he's relied on through the years.

However, this relocation opportunity also presented itself in an auspicious time. He was still reeling from his recent failed relationships; the most recent was his twenty-two-month-fairy-tale-love-affair with Marco Esposito, an Ivy-league educated curator for the San Diego Museum of Art whom he caught canoodling with one of the ushers during a gala benefit. As far as he can remember, he's always been in a couple; before this, he has not been "in the market" for longer than a couple of months. He's going on 8 months now and counting.

Chase found a 1-bedroom apartment within walking distance to Dolores Park, which made his move to San Francisco a bit more palatable. One of the prerequisites he had was that he wanted to live as close to a tennis court as possible; he was UPenn's #3 singles player. The other thing that he looked for was the perfect coffee shop.

However, it took awhile for Chase to find his "zen" café. He tried out a few places around his neighborhood. H Café: Too bland. Maxfield's House of Caffeine. Too pretentious. Then he stumbled upon Tazza D'Amore: it was love at first sight.

Maybe it was the mouthwatering scones or the paninis. Or perhaps the home-y feeling that reminded him of his Italian grandparents. But most of all, he enjoyed the serenity and the anonymity the coffee shop provided him. Aside from the staff whom he got to know well, he enjoyed being able to sit by his lonesome and not be bothered.

Each Saturday morning, he'd sit at his favorite spot, a red table for 2 near the windowsill, with his trusty copy of New York Times in tow, sipping on his chai tea as he filled out the crossword puzzle; this had been a tradition of sorts for Chase. He would normally fill out the crossword puzzle with his boyfriend as they enjoy a sumptuous breakfast in bed.

At first, he could barely fill out half of the crossword puzzle. Maybe he depended too much on someone else to do the work for him? Week after week, he had a few clues that were the bane of his existence. One week, it was 20 across: "Bears, in Barcelona", and 58 down "Where the Ucayali flows". The next week, it was 15 across "On the briny" and 34 down "Scores for Comaneci".

Finally, on an unusually warm February, he finally completed a crossword puzzle. As he wrote in the answer to 36 across, "Me, _ _ _ _ _ _, and I", Chase got to thinking: "maybe it's time to try the Sunday's crossword puzzles?"

Maybe being alone isn't so bad after all.
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Season Two, Episode Eleven: Review: “Valentine’s Day”

For the Hallmark-created "holiday" also known as Single Awareness Day, err, I mean, Valentine's Day, I decided to watch Valentine's Day with a couple of my single friends. Coming into the movie, I wanted to keep an open mind since inevitably, I would be comparing it to Love, Actually.

Comparison to Love, Actually is inescapable. In the interest of full disclosure, I happen to thoroughly enjoy Love, Actually, and so I had hopes (though slightly dampened) about Valentine's Day; after all, in my experience, the US adaptations usually falls short of the originals (for example, Ringu (The Ring) , Abre los Ojos (Vanilla Sky) and L'Appartement (Wicker Park) among others).

Directed by Garry Marshall (of Pretty Woman and The Princess Diaries fame) and screenplay written by Katherine Fugate, the whole movie unfolds during Valentine's Day as it follows the lives of several couples, and their stories are told through the seemingly benign interconnections they have with each other.

The movie presents the clichéd conundrums about love that people face; there's the "love-between-two-best-friends-who-don't-know-it-yet", the "we've-been-together-a-long-time-but-I-have-a-secret-that-can-ruin-our-relationship" scenario, the "I-have-a-girlfriend-AND-a-wife" quandary, and the "grade school crush" dilemma.

What was billed as an all-star cast surely is; Jessica Alba, Kathy Bates, Jessica Biel, Bradley Cooper, Eric Dane, Patrick Dempsey, Hector Elizondo, Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Garner, Topher Grace, Anne Hathaway, Ashton Kutcher, Queen Latifah, Taylor Lautner, George Lopez, Shirley MacLaine, Emma Roberts, Julia Roberts, and Taylor Swift are featured in this ensemble film, which is quite a casting coup for Deborah Aquila and Mary Tricia Wood. And therein lies my biggest pet peeve about this movie: too many stars in one film. This all-star overload at times made me feel like the movie was one long cameo after the other.

Most of their stories are half-baked (maybe even quarter-baked?) and underdeveloped. There wasn't enough time devoted to dig a little deeper into the characters and to engage the audience to invest some emotional attachment; I couldn't care less about most of the characters, even if I wanted to. The movie's attempt to address the commercialism of Valentine's Day falls flat and doesn't register. In some ways, the chosen setting of this movie and the script reflect the stereotypical image of how Los Angeles is perceived as: shallow, disjointed, full of hopes and dreams, all rolled up in a ball of sunshine and smog.

Sure, they try to throw in a few kinks here and there, and I would have to say that there was ONE thing that I didn't see coming, but for the most part, the twists were telegraphic and thinly-veiled.

And I know this is a movie, but the suspension of disbelief can only go SO far. Raise your hand if can fathom for one second that NO ONE in Los Angeles would like to date someone like Jessica Biel's character, Kara Monahan. And while we're at it, can we give Patrick Dempsey a role that doesn't involve him being a doctor? The poor guy's going to be type-casted. And what was Queen Latifah's purpose in this movie? Waste of a talented actress. Same thing can be said about Kathy Bates. And don't even get me started with Jessica Alba's character, Morley Clarkson; I know why she was there, but really?

For what it's worth, the movie was entertaining at its finest moments, dragging (a rom-com should NEVER be longer than 90 minutes) and relentless at its worst. The standouts for me were Julia Roberts as Capt. Kate Hazeltine, Anne Hathaway as Liz, an aspiring writer with a salacious way of paying off her student loans, and Shirley MacLaine as Estelle, a retired actress with an impending wedding vow renewal with her husband Edgar, played by Hector Elizondo. Honorable mentions go to Taylor Swift, who was quite entertaining as the ditzy high school dance student (even with this good performance, she's still not out of the dog house for that Grammy autotune-less "performance") and Bryce Robinson as Edison, the gradeschooler stung by the love bug for the first time.

Is Valentine's Day worth the $11.50 for the movie ticket and the 2 hours of your life? Let's just say that I won't be buying the DVD, but if TBS is running a Sunday afternoon movie marathon, I might be persuaded to sit through it.

 

Grade: C-/C

Season Two, Episode Ten: The World Wide Web of Dating

Beta-max, Sony Walkman and floppy disks: What do they have in common? Marvels in their own time, but pushed out of ubiquity in favor of the newer and better available technologies. Could the "traditional" way of dating be next?

Through the years, the popularity of online dating sites like Yahoo!® Personals, Match.com and eHarmony.com is on the rise. According to a 2003 U.S. News and World Report, in August of that year, 40 million unique users visited online dating sites in the United States, about half the number of single adults in the US, and in all likelihood this statistic figures to have grown in today's time. Successes of the sites like Match.com and eHarmony.com have spawned off copycat sites like Amor.com, Gay.com and Shaadi.com, sites that cater to a wide range of interests and audiences.

OkCupid is another dating website, a site the Boston Globe calls "the Google of online dating," and New York Post declares "a perfect example of the Web 2.0 revolution." In many respects, it's a bit similar to other well-known dating sites like Match.com or eHarmony.com in that it tries to "match" its users. The way they do this is by having each user answer questions, both generated by the site, and by its own users. The big difference between OkCupid and other sites is that they rely HEAVILY on mathematical algorithms and analysis as the basis for their match percentage calculations. And it takes into account basically everything that a user does on OkCupid, from the number of messages sent and replied, to how often and when a user logs in, and the way the user answers the questions to generate a match percentage. And the best part of it all is that most of the site is FREE!

With this in mind and in the interest of full disclosure, I myself have partaken in this societal exercise. Come to think of it, I was a bit hard pressed to think of the last person that I was in a relationship with that I have met NOT using the interweb (for the sake of completion, we were in the same dance group when I was a senior in college).

The way that OkCupid works is that like other social networking sites, you have your profile, and it lists your basic information, hobbies, favorite books/music/food, the six things you could never do without, and other pertinent information. Then you can peruse other peoples' profiles, and if there is a connection there, you can either contact them via email, or if you're a bit reticent, you can send them a "wink" to try to get a conversation started.

I guess, subconsciously or consciously, we put our best foot forward when we write our profile pages. Many people have different ideas and different interpretations of what that phrase, "best foot forward" actually mean. Some people use the opportunity to show off their literary or artistic prowess, while some opt to show off their adept skills in sarcasm.

One of the advantages of online dating is that in theory, it makes the whole process a little easier. In many ways, sites like OkCupid streamline the whole dating process. This statement may come across as if I think this makes the whole online dating process more sterile and devoid of sentiment; that's not what I'm saying. You get to look through people's profile and see if there's anything there that piques your interest. For the most part, for me, it's not so much that I "know" if I'll get along with the other person. It's more that I'll "know" if the person has interested me in any level , enough to cross the threshold and warrant an email or a wink. In theory, it's a good allocation of precious resource (time). Pharmacy school surely has not helped in this regard. The tough curriculum and other school-related-extracurricular activities (and many more self-imposed forms of masochism) have left me with virtually no time to branch out and just live. When I can "weed out" potential non-matches, the likelihood of waddling through bad dates after bad dates is, in theory, dramatically decreased. It's just good allocation of precious resources. Now, there does exist the risk that I can disregard a particular profile when in fact, he would be something that I would greatly get along with. For now, that's the risk I'm willing to take.

The last couple of dates that I have had from people that I've met online have both been successful to an extent. Successful in that the first dates had lead to a second date, which led to a third date, but I guess after that, online dating can only take you so far? There are things that don't come across from an online profile that you can only ascertain from having a face-to-face interaction. "The game" is not just played out on cyberspace, but lived out in real-life as well.

The verdict? The question is not "is online dating the wave of the future? " because it's already here, and more and more people are getting in on it, but rather, has the time come to where online dating will be the predominant. Methinks that for now, online dating works for me and where I am in my life right now and in the near-term, but the "traditional" dating is not going out by the way of cassette tapes just yet.