Season Three, Episode Season Seven: Day at the Museum, Part Deux: Impressionist and the beyond at the de Young

The impressionism movement was important in many respects, and in particular, it serves as an important intermediary between the "Romantic –style classical painting" and the "modern art". The artists at this time experimented with different techniques, vantage points, and subject matter. We are fortunate to have some of Musée d'Orsay's collection on display at de Young Museum until January 18^th.

Cezanne

I admit, when I was first studying art, I didn't have that big of an appreciation for still-life art; but after studying Cezanne's techniques, I grew a greater appreciation for them. Instead of using shading to represent form and volume, he uses subtle modulation of colors. Instead of using the traditional depiction of perspective, he uses multiple viewpoints to assemble various "everyday objects" in a discordant fashion, and uses repetition of similar shapes and the harmonious use of palettes to bring the composition into a perfect balance. Cezanne has painted over 200 still-life paintings (he wanted to harness the "power and poetry of everyday objects), and some are display here at the de Young. Be sure to check out "Still Life with Onions" and "Kitchen Table" to appreciate some of Cezanne's brilliance.

Gauguin

Gauguin's life experiences have certainly shaped his artistic endeavors. His life in Paris, living on rue de Chaillot at the heart of the seizième arrondissement, not too far from the Seine,
influenced his earlier works of representing a sort of
rural bonhomie. His time at Arles with Vincent Van Gogh was two-months filled with intense collaboration, and each artist had a contrasting orientation (Van Gogh – more expressionistic, Gauguin more contemplative) that allowed for some "healthy competition" between the two artists, propelling each other to push the limits of color and imagery to the extreme, resulting in 15 Gauguin masterpieces in such a short time span. "Les Alyscamps" in particular was quite striking; he uses abstraction of natural forms and arbitrary use of color (the "flaming red bush" and the "blue tree trunks") to exemplify a certain level of expressive quality that represent his "Synthesist style".

Not to miss paintings: "Tahitian Women", "Portrait of the Artist with the Yellow Christ", "Les Alyscamps", "Arearea".

The Pont-Aven School

In contrast to Georges Seurat and Paul Signac's Neo-Impressionists style (ripipoint or "pointillism"), which they considered to be too rational and progressive, the "Pont-Aven School" (Emile Bernard, Charles Laval, Paul Sérusier, and to a lesser extent, Paul Gauguin) advanced the aesthetics and iconography as advocated by Gauguin's artistic circle and the Synthesism movement. These artists sought to further push the limits (previously successfully established by the Impressionism movement) of Realism. In particular, these artists drew on the Romantic notion of reconnecting with one's origin and found a certain inspiration in the peasant life of the inhabitants of Brittany to represent the "primitiveness of province life", perpetrating the Celtic piety, the political independence, and the poetic nature that is ingrained in Brittany's culture.

Not to miss paintings: Bernard's "Breton Women with Umbrellas", "Bathers with Red Cow", and "Madeleine in the Bois d'Amoir", Laval's "Landscape", Sérusier's "The Fence", and Gauguin's "Seascape with Cow (at the Edge of the Cliff)"

Season Three, Episode Six: The day at the Museum: Impressionist and Beyond at de Young, part I

I’m very grateful that Musée d’Orsay is going through major renovations in preparation for its 25^th Anniversary in 2011; it’s been long overdue. I remember when I was living in Paris, I used to go visit d’Orsay almost every week (thanks to my American University of Paris ID card, which got me in to most of the Parisians Museums (60, in total) for free); I remember that whenever I’d go, I’d only see certain sections at one time because the lighting in some sections (the Salle des Colonnes in particular) was really terrible at times, so you’d have to go at a certain time to get some good ambient lighting. Also, the current layout as it was back then was a little hard to follow, and when it got busy, I always felt a bit claustrophobic. It felt a bit disjointed, and a bit disorganized; there was not a cohesive stylistic, thematic, or chronological organization to the collection.

Another big plus (and more relevant for us who live in San Francisco) is that because of the renovation, the museum is lending out some of its collection as a part of a “traveling tour”. I missed the first exhibit “The Birth of Impressionism”, and I’m bummed because I missed some of my favorite artists’ masterpieces (Courbet, Degas, Manet, Monet, Pisarro, Renoir), and some of my favorite pieces from d’Orsay: “The Dancing Lesson” by Degas, “The Gare Saint-Lazare” by Monet, and “The Birth of Venus” by William Bouguereau (which, in my opinion, comes awfully close in matching the radiance and the astounding beauty of the original, painted by Botticelli).

Not to be amiss, I made sure that I came to see the second exhibit: Van Gogh, Gauguin, Cézanne and Beyond: Post-Impressionist Masterpieces from the Musée d'Orsay. I was pretty stoked because Impressionism/Post-Impressionism is my FAVORITE art movement; the thing that I like about it most is that there is something for everyone: there's something to appreciate, irrespetive of the viewer's art knowledge. You don't necessarily have to know everything about the paitner, or the subject for that matter; you can always appreciate the intricate brushstrokes, the color contrast, the different techniques employed, etc.

I know the Van Gogh exhibits are getting all the press, and for good reasons. “Starry Night (La nuit étoilée” is arguably one of Van Gogh’s (and the Impressionist movement’s) best known piece. I’ve always been awestruck by the sheer brilliance of the painting. This painting represents the pinnacle of Van Gogh’s disposition in life; irrespective of his mental instability, his use of the muted blue and green palettes contrasted with the yellow palettes gives way to the illusion of dancing lights from the stars and the radiating lights from the city and with his vivid and empathic brush strokes he’s conveying a message of hope and divinity as represented by the subtle connection between the two lovers in the foreground and the constellation of yellow stars in the sky.

His use of bright colors certainly influenced other artists (Gauguin, in particular) of his time. But there’s more to see in this exhibit.

One of my favorite post-impressionist painters is George Seurat. Unfortunately, one of my all-time favorite paintings “A Sunday on La Grande Jatte” was not part of the collection (this painting is located in the Art Institute of Chicago), but there are a number of his works shown in the exhibit, including his sketch study for Le Cirque: even in this sketch, you can appreciate the uplifting effects of his use of color and optics, his upward sweeping lines expressing the lively pleasures of the circus.

Also, make sure to NOT miss the other great works of the “pointillism” artists like Paul Signac (Women at the Well, Entrance to the Port of Marseille), Georges Lemmen (Plage a Heist (The Beach at Heist) and Théo van Rysselberghe (The Man at the Tiller, Sailing Boats and Estuary). I was especially impressed with van Rysselberghe’s work with “Sailing Boats and Estuary” because he utilized all the colors of the rainbow in this painting, in spite of using mostly a bluish palette to represent the sky and the water; you had to look at the painting closely to identify the other colors. And Signac’s work (especially the Women at the Well) is just phenomenal; he painted this painting after Seurat’s untimely death (he died at age 31), and perfected his mentor’s uncanny technique of juxtaposing colors to create a very intense color harmonies that evoke a very Utopian daily life at St. Tropez in the 1890s.

Tips for all of you who’d like to see it: See it on a weekday preferably after lunch (2-3pm is good)! Also, just as an FYI, they are normally closed on Mondays, except for December 27^th, and MLK Jr Day (January 17, 2011). They also have extended hours during the holiday season (Sunday December 26^th – Thursday, December 30^th and from Thursday January 6th – Sunday January 9^th, 2011 it’s open from 9:30am – 9pm) . Ticket information: Students are $16 w/ ID and adults are $20. Although I would suggest for students to get the annual FAMSF membership for $55/year; it’ll totally pay for itself. As a member, you receive 4 free tickets (+4 companion tickets) to see the exhibit (though only 1+1 companion ticket at a time), and other special exhibits, plus, you get into the Legion of Honor for free too! Other enticing upcoming exhibits at the de Young include “Olmec: Colossal Masterworks of Ancient Mexico” from February 19 – May 8 2011, “Balenciaga and Spain” from March 26 – July 4 2011, and “Picasso from Musée National Picasso, Paris” from June 11 – September 25 2011.

There’s too much to talk about in one sitting (I haven’t even discussed Cezanne, Gauguin, the Pont-Aven School, and the Nabi yet), so we’ll pick it up where we left off at the next column!

Season Three, Episode Five: Restaurant Review: Nopalito

Nopalito
306 Broderick Street
San Francisco, CA 94117-2275
(415) 437-0303
Four out of five stars

NOPA (North of the Panhandle) has a lot of things going for itself. Officially part of Western Addition, NOPA was coined by the real estate smarties that wanted to push gentrification (and real estate value), and as a result, what was once an unassuming area of San Francisco, is now home to a bustling hipster mecca, with plenty of activities that cater to the hipster crowd (live shows at the Independent, 90s clubbing at Madrone’s), as well as a diverse selection of fine dining establishments that cater to different tastes and palates.

One of the many fine restaurants in the area is Nopalito, which means “little cactus (nopal)” in Spanish. It prides itself as a “vibrant neighborhood Mexican kitchen” that celebrates the “traditional cookery of Mexico”.

Being from SoCal, I consider myself not necessarily a “Mexican food connoisseur”, but I’d like to think that I know “authentic” Mexican food when I eat one. And this place isn’t quite it; and I think that’s the charm of it all. Nopalito is like the Mexican version of what an organic PF Chang’s would be like.

Ok, maybe that’s a bit insulting to Nopalito, but I guess what I’m trying to say is that this is not your El Farolito-type of a restaurant. By any means, I’m not trying to degrade Nopalito; The food is prepared fresh with local, organic, and sustainable ingredients, and the presentation is quite pleasing.

Speaking of food, some things to try while you are here: First and foremost, the Totopas con Chile (Tortilla chips, salsa de arbol, cotija cheese); they are to die for! As in literally, you’d feel that your artery is slowly clogging as you bite into the spicy chips dipped in sour cream. And then when you’re done, you feel like you’ve just lost a few years off your life (and you rationalize this by saying, “Eh! But those are the Depends years anyway”) but gained a few QALYs (and weight). That’s when you know that you’ve gotten to the good part.

And I know 7x7 has the Carnitas (long braised pork) in their list of the “100 Things to Try Before You Die”. I mean, don’t get me wrong, they were yummy, but if it were me, I’d put the Totopas in the list before their Carnitas. And there’s something about their Enchiladas de Mole con Pollo (Sauce of chiles, chocolate and nuts, shredded chicken, onion, queso fresco) that draws me to them; I get it almost every time that I go there. And recently, I had a taste of their Torta de Chilorio (Sandwich of shredded pork in adobo, jack cheese, onion and avocado), and it was pretty good (minus the avocado part). I know, I’m part of the 0.001% of Californians who do NOT like avocados, so sue me.

Another not-to-miss item: Margaritas! I know they’re not technically a “food item”, but they do make them really well here. A pitcher or two will come in handy while you’re waiting for the ridiculous line during the dinner rush, so I would suggest calling ahead of time to get on the “waiting list”.

Keeping up with the “gentrified” neighborhood of NOPA, the clientele is what you’d normally expect in a “hip and cool” San Francisco restaurant: San Francisco foodies, people that have the website “Stuff White People Like” as their homepage in their Safari browser, Quarterlife Crisis sufferers, and the like. On the other extreme, there are plenty of businessfolks who frequent this place, I’d assume because of the ease of parking (there’s a parking structure next to the restaurant), and the fact that the space itself is quite relaxed. And quite a few tourists too! Not Fisherman’s Wharf in magnitude, but I swear, every single time that I’ve been here, there’s always a contingency of tourists eating there. Maybe they have a coupon on the Visitor Guide?

Oh yeah, I’ll definitely be back. It’s around my neighborhood, the prices are reasonable, the margaritas are excellent, and it’s a nice spot to people watch.

Season Three, Episode Four: Daniel Kessler, my Lover: my night @ the Fox Theater with Interpol

I've been listening to Interpol for a few years now, ever since my friend from I-House lent me her Antics CD, and ever since then, I was hooked. There was something about their sound that was hauntingly beautiful, and emotionally gut-wrenching, all wrapped in an otherwise other-worldly amalgamation of poetic lyrics and distinct patterns of guitar riffs and drums. There was something about that album that spoke to my inner indie emo punk self.

I've never seen Interpol live before, and in my desire to see them in concert, let's just say that I paid a handsome amount of monies to get a pair of tickets to the sold-out show. But it was all worth it. And then some.

Before the concert, Karmela and I decided to have dinner at Pica Pica, a Venezuelan restaurant in the "Valencia district" part of Mission. We used to live together a couple of years ago, and have not seen each other for a few years. Over a Pabellon (Shredded Skirt Steak, Sweet Plantains, Black Beans, Cheese) Arepa and Cachapa, Guiso and Tilapia empanadas, and Pasapalos (Sweet Plantains) (what can I say, we're the kind of people that eat, and eat well), we caught up with each other's lives, swapped life stories, man issues, professional endeavors, and the like.

This is the second show that I've seen in the Fox Theater. Over the summer, I saw The New Pornographers with a couple of my friends, and since we bought our tickets too late, we were not able to get General Admission tickets, and instead, we ended up sitting up in the boonies. I still had a great time listening to them live, but I've made a resolution that I will only watch concerts via General Admission; at least while I'm still young and the jumping around and the other stuff that crazy kids do while in concerts haven't gotten old to me yet.

Once we got to Fox Theater, a funny thing happened after we got our beverages; we were about to check in our coats in the coat check area, and as we were paying, the guy manning the booth thanked me and called me by name. I thought for a second, trying to place him in my memory. Did I meet him from somewhere already and just don't remember him? Not that I would put that past me, I definitely have done that in the past. As it turns out, my old pal from college, Julianne, was back there; we were in Student Council @ UCSD, and we haven't seen each other since then. Apparently, she's in Sacramento, and just finished law school. It is such a small world, indeed.

The set list was a mix of their old and new stuff. They opened with "Success", one of the songs off their self-titled fourth studio album. They played all of my favorite songs (C'mere, Summer Well, Rest my Chemistry, Evil, Barricade, Narc, Take You on a Cruise, PDA, Not Even Jail), so I have no complaints there. They sound amazing live! They sound very similar to how they sound on their records, which for them is a particularly good thing. 'Mela and I danced, grooved, bounced, and reveled in their music, and at times, I felt like I was 21 again.

And Daniel Kessler is just amazing on guitars. 'Mela must've snapped over 200 photos, and more than half of it was all Daniel. It's been decided: Me and 'Mela are going to have his kids. I'm still trying to figure out how that's going to be biologically (and logically) possible, but as soon as I figure it out, I'll report on my progress.

A couple of things just got on my nerves. The "Oh, excuse me, coming through, I'm just trying to find my friend" routine is just a nuisance; just go through and stop making lame excuses. At least have the cojones to own up to your actions. And oh, tall guys (and girls), can you all do us a favor? Please try not to be so close to the stage, because you are blocking precious real estate. Thanks!

The encore was more of the same awesomeness. They opened their encore with "Untitled" (a song that was used in the Friends season 9 finale), and then they followed it with "Stella was a Diver and She was Always Down". Throughout the concert, I was wondering when they were going to play "Slow Hands", one of my all-time favorite songs, and they played it as their last song; a fitting end to the night.

I walked away from that concert not just with a $30 Interpol shirt (which I wore to school the next day, by the way), but also with a deeper appreciation for Interpol. Until the next concert! And this time, I'm getting those tickets as soon as they're released!

Season Three, Episode Three: Single in the City goes to St. Louis!

The Academy of Managed Care Pharmacists Educational Showcase was in St. Louis this year. The consensus that I have gathered was not a favorable one; actually, I don't think anyone said anything remotely positive about St. Louis.

The weather throughout trip was actually quite wonderful: low 70s and sunny throughout the day, and a crisp mid 50s at night, which is apparently quite different from the "normal" weather pattern in St. Louis; one day it will be sunny, the next it is pouring down rain.

The conference itself was well worth my of time, though I would say this year as compared to last year, the speakers were a bit disappointing. This year, we had the "Three Doctors", who I thought were very inspirational, but the fact that that I flew into St. Louis that morning via a redeye flight meant finding creative ways in trying to stay awake: coffee, self-inflicted pinches in multiple areas, and the occasional slap in the face. CMS Deputy Administration and Director Jonathan Blum delivered the Friday Keynote, and you can tell that he's not very used to public speaking; he's a very intelligent man, but perhaps his nervousness made him speak without any pauses (not even for breath breaks).

I didn't get to go to as much educational showcases this year compared to last year (not getting reimbursed = no required events to attend), though the ones that I did attend were quite useful. I especially enjoyed my roundtable discussion about medication adherence; now I don't feel so lost about my project.

Our search for our Friday night entertainment was quite entertaining, to say the least. Most of the UCSF contingents stayed at the Four Seasons, so we tried to hang out around the area, which was Laclede's Landing, a nine-block industrial area with cobblestone streets and vintage brick-and-cast-iron warehouses. One thing that I made sure we DIDN'T do was cross the Mississippi, into East St. Louis; apparently, it's not a very safe place.

For dinner, we decided on getting our grub on at The Old Spaghetti Factory. I hadn't been to one in years! After dinner, we strolled along N. 2^nd Street, trying to look for a "happening place". Walking down this street reminded me of Tijuana for some reason. Sleazy doorman trying to get you into their bars. Even sleazier men clogging up the street hooting and hollering. At one place, there was a scantily clad rail-thin woman shaking her pom-poms. Seriously. True story.

I don't remember the name of the bar that we eventually went into, but what caught our attention was the "$1 shots/$2 jaeger shots" sign out front; it was too much to pass up. The place was decidedly "gritty" and "grungy". They served their shots on ketchup container cups (WTF?). The DJ played a LOT of late 90's/early 2000's songs, but to his defense, he was VERY responsive my song requests. Though I think the people that were there were looking at us funnily, especially when my song requests came on; I don't think this place regularly see people dancing to dance music.

It is in this bar where I heard the weirdest pick-up line someone has ever used on me; A scruffy, buttoned-up shirt dressed man, perhaps in his mid 20s, came up from behind me with his flipped phone opened up as if he's ready to take a number, and asked: "Hey, are you a hairdresser?" Now, I'm not sure if this was the "code phrase" in Missouri for "Are you gay?", but nonetheless, I missed that whole exchange. And he was actually kinda cute. Bummer.

We ended the night at a bar titled "Big Daddy". We passed by this place on our way to the hotel on Wednesday, and they were playing music on full blast at 9 AM; yeah, it's THAT kind of place. I was half-expecting this place to be crawling with the "corn-fed Midwestern" folks and I was half-right. The good thing about the nightlife in St. Louis is that some places stay open until 3 AM, with last call 40 minutes before closing time. I was also amazed at how cheap it was going out in St. Louis! One round of drinks for 5 people cost me about the same as 1 drink here in the city.

Most of the UCSF contingency left on Saturday morning/afternoon, but I thought that I'd take a later flight to play tourist. I was gonna try to go to the Arch, but apparently I had to be there BEFORE 10 to avoid the crowd, so I passed on that. I also wanted to go to St. Louis Museum of Art, which actually sounded kinda interesting: they had a very eclectic art collection as part of their permanent collection, plus they had some Impressionist/Post-impressionist paintings by Monet, Degas, Gauguin, and van Gogh ), but I woke up too late; I didn't get out of the hotel until 12:30. That and I had an assignment due on midnight Saturday that I had to finish, so I just strolled around Laclede's Landing, ate lunch al fresco while working on my assignment. There was a classic car show that I checked out; I had never been a car enthusiast, but I was able to appreciate the stunningly immaculate condition of these early to mid-century cars.

Would I ever come back to St. Louis? The weather could've fooled me to think I was in San Diego. The nightlife wasn't as horrible as I thought it'd be. So I guess, maybe. Though next time, I'll be prepared for any weird pickup lines that may come my way.

Season Three, Episode Two: A Weekend of Nuptials, Natalitial Shindigs and Nudities

When I go back in time to figure out when exactly my liver started to fail me, this past weekend would probably be as good a starting place as any other time. But I guess when you have a wedding, a birthday and Folsom Street Fair to celebrate, knowledge and logic go out the window. Or at least that’s what I’ll keep telling myself.

The weekend started off tame enough; friend from Japan was in town until Saturday afternoon, so we had a chill Friday night, dinner and wine around the ‘hood, and had an early day anyway, since my call time was 8am for my clinic’s volunteer orientation the next day. Had to ditch that early to make it to my friend Larry and his beau’s sail boat wedding, and my friend Susan was picking me up @ 2:15.

It was such a gorgeous day for a sailboat wedding. The afternoon temperature high was in the low 90s, though a gentle breeze from time to time made sure that it was bearable.

This was the third non-Filipino wedding that I’ve been to, and the second wedding that I’ve attended that involved one of my classmates. I guess we’re getting to that stage of our lives. Oh, snap, does that mean that I have to start growing up? I digress.

The wedding party was dressed in a nautical theme, down to matching sunglasses, belts, and the whole nine, which I thought was such a classy touch (way to go, bride-zilla… ahem, Larry). Paul’s son (and one of his best men) played a Led-Zeppelin inspired interpretation of Canon in D with his electric guitar; man, that 14 year-old boy is going to be trouble (if he’s not already). The girl next to me was balling her eyes out, so either the ceremony was very sweet and touching or she was just one big crybaby; I’d say it was the former.

Sail boat weddings are such great ideas; something about being at sea (or I guess in this case, bay) and nuptials seem to just work. Maybe it’s the openness, or the symbolism of the voyage that the couple is about to embark upon, with their love acting as the main sail that will direct the course of their paths together as partners. Just FYI for those who are contemplating sailboat weddings in the future: it goes without saying that a summer wedding would probably be the best time to have it, and if you’re going to do it, that means end of September/mid October is your best bet.

On to the reception – where the real fun begins! Bubbly, you’ve always been my nefarious nemesis, and you strike once more! I had a great time with my “date” Allison even if you were such a cheap date; well, not as cheap as Susan, who was blurry after 4 sips of the margarita =p And those lemon cakes were AMAZING! Man, if weddings do one thing right, it would be cakes.

Luckily, this wedding didn’t have the usual horrors (Macarena, line dancing, YMCA), but they did do the train and I definitely didn’t partake in that! We did however, danced to some groovy music, and even did a little “Single Ladies” dancing; Liza Minelli would’ve been proud.

Bottles of champagne and endless pitchers of margaritas later, somehow, I managed to make it out of Tres Agaves alive just in time to cut in with Krystal, Katie, and Nikolai for Joel’s 25th birthday celebration at Roe the same night. At that point, I remember bits and pieces from the night, but mostly good memories. I saw my friends who I haven’t seen in awhile, so that was good.

Sunday was all about a different kind of love. I met up with my friend Vannida and her friends Gina and Katie for some afternoon delight @ Folsom Street Fair. Or as my friend Vannida calls it, “San Francisco’s equivalent of church.” Well, the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence were certainly there spreading the love and the protesters armed with their affable “Jesus-loves-you” placards certainly made their presence known.

It definitely was neither for the faint-hearted nor the flinchers, but I guess that’s just par for Folsom’s course. The rest of Sunday’s events were not suitable for children under 18 (though someone was enjoying the festivities with her baby (who couldn’t have been older than 18 months) in a baby sling; in her flimsy defense, at least it was made out of leather). Heck, for professional reasons, it’s probably not suitable for anyone over 18 for that matter. I guess you’ll just have to dig that one out of me.

Season Three, Episode One: The Crazy Things We Do for Love

---

Last season, on Single in the City…

Phew, another year, another season of Single in the City. Finally moved in to the condo (though no one has YET to see it; it's not ready for visitors just yet (or will it EVER be? you'll just have to stay tune). Went on locations to far-flung areas like San Antonio and Miami to check out the single life there; yep, it's the same there like everywhere else.

For a play-by-play, feel free to read through earlier entries…

---
One of the wonderful things about this city is the overabundance of activities that one may partake in that caters to a wide range of interest, from the seedy to the subversive, the artistic and the asinine and everything in between.

For example, a few weeks ago, my BFF Kat, her roommate and I went to see a performance of Two Gentlemen of Verona, a free theater production ("Shakespeare in the Park")
sponsored by the San Francisco Shakespeare Festival.

Verona has the smallest cast of any Shakespearean play, and is regarded by many as one of Shakespeare's least refined, though I enjoyed this adaptation quite a bit. I like the 60's inspired songs that accompanied each act and scene transitions. My favorite parts involved the secondary actors, especially Launce and Speed, Proteus' and Valentine's servants, respectively. They provided a cynical view about love, in contrast to the idealistic and pristine beliefs that their masters hold.

As I was watching the play, it got me thinking: are we really that dumbstruck by love that we'll do ANYTHING for it? As in stab-your-friend-in-the-back, abandon-your-family, throw-your-senses-out-the-window kind of way?

Does art imitate life or is Oscar Wilde right? Tons of songs have been written about the crazy things people do for love; Madonna, Van Morrison, Michael Bublé and even my home girl Beyoncé has weighed in on this matter.

Remember when Daria got her navel pierced because of Trent? Or when Rachel flew all the way to London to tell Ross she loved him on the eve of Ross' and Emily's wedding? Ok, so I feel like I'm dating myself with my pop culture references; I'm sorry, I don't know watch that much new TV since Veronica Mars went off the air (and I'm still pretty mad about that!), except for Glee.

But I digress. I asked around a few of my friends with regards to this topic, and the results were a bit astounding. One of my friends went in great lengths in trying to provide a luxurious and pampered life to his boo, to the point of maxing out his credit cards, working overtime to try to make ends meet, and alienating his parents and his friends, only to end up being dumped a few months later. Another friend kept taking her boyfriend back in spite of his unscrupulous ways (he cheated on her a "few" times) because of her "love" for him.

Now, not every story I heard was grim and gloomy. My friend's girlfriend moved with him to China when he started med school there, despite having most of her life (family, friends, burgeoning career) established here in California; now they're closing on their 5-year anniversary, and wedding bells are probably not that far off for the two.

My own experience reveals similar patterns. I've had moments where the love that I felt for someone was consuming every bit of me, to the point where I couldn't think of anything but the welfare and wellbeing of that person, even to my own detriment at times. Which leads me to think, why would we do this to ourselves? And I'm only left to conclude one thing: love is irrational. Irrational in the sense that it seem to go against the basic evolutionary concept of "survival of the fittest." Perhaps there's more to it than that.

And another thing: what's crazy to me might very well be normal to someone else; crazy is in the eye of the beholder.

Two Gentlemen of Verona is playing at the Presidio's Main Post Parade Ground Lawn (between Graham St. and Keyes Ave.) until this weekend (Saturday, Sept 25 @ 7:30pm and Sunday, Sept 26 @2:30pm). Catch it while you still can!

Also this Sunday, September 25, from 11am – 6pm is the Folsom Street Fair, the world's largest leather event (and no, we're not talking about your grandpa's Wilson's Leather-bought ensemble). See what I mean? San Francisco DOES have something for everyone.     

Episode Twenty-Two: Sex in the City 2 – a movie review

The whole time Sex and the City (SATC) was running its live course on HBO, I must've seen like one or two episodes (that one episode with the guy Carrie was dating a golden shower aficionado and the other episode being the one with Carrie dating the bisexual guy). But when Target had a Black Friday sale this past Thanksgiving, I picked up all 6 seasons (season 6 was a 2-disc set, argh!) for $8/DVD. Before you know it, I was done with the last season before we hit Christmas.

For most, SATC was all about the expensive designer clothes and shoes, the glitzy glamour and the fancy life that money and success can afford strong, independent women. For me, however, the show brought up a lot of issues that are universal among all of us; how we deal with relationships and love and how we deal with the society's behavioral expectations and pressures. I think the issues they tackled during their 6-season run were thought provoking, even if at times, their methodologies about dealing with the issues were a bit sophomoric and Hollywood-ish. But for the most part, SATC managed to stay maintain a good barometer with what's going on currently, and provided good commentaries and insights.

I'm sure that you've read through the venomous and vitriolic reviews that SATC2 has received, not seen since "Gigli". It wasn't THAT terrible, in my opinion; nothing can be as bad as "Gigli". The movie was not completely devoid of positive moments. Liza Minelli's homage to my homegirl Beyoncé's ubiquitous hit "Single Ladies" was quite entertaining. The moment that Charlotte and Miranda shared as they talked about their struggles with motherhood was both touching and realistic. The dialogue is not as sharp and witty as how it was during the show's run, but there were some funny one-liners (like Samantha's "Lawrence of Her Labia" comment or Miranda's theory of universal physics that predicts the probability of a Liza Minelli appearance: the probability is proportional to the amount of gayness in a room). The eye candies were exactly that, eye candies (the Aussie rugby team, Anthony's straight brother, Nikki, played by D&G model Noah Mills, and even the silver fox Danish architect played by Max Ryan).

However, as like the first film, there was a bit of potential in terms of plot material, but sadly, these potentials were not realized in its entirety. Charlotte is dealing with the "Terrible Two's" Carrie is dealing with her "Terrible Two's" of her own with Mr. Big (Chris Noth). Samantha's dealing with menopause and her pharmaceutical version of her fountain of youth, and Miranda's dealing with an unappreciative (to put it nicely) Senior Partner at her law firm, or at least, that's what I thought it was. However, the movie flails in delving into the development of the plot, and that in the end, it felt like it was one product placement over the next.

Though I suppose, for most people who would be interested in watching this movie, it's more of a diversion from their current lives and I guess the more vapid and fluffy it is, the better? I still think the movie misses its chance to flesh out some of the laid-out storylines, to make it a bit more relevant for its viewers. Instead, we're treated with superfluous oversimplification and overt stereotypes of all parties involved. And this was one of my biggest pet peeve about this movie. One of SATC2's (and SATC the series) biggest themes was challenging the idea of normalcy, may it be relationships, fashion, or customs. But scene after scene we are treated to what the "normal" stereotype that our society holds – from the "promiscuous gays" and the "rowdy jocks" to the "sex-phobe Arabs" and the "oppressed Muslim women". And what's with the whole "Muslim women will only feel liberated if they wear Western clothing" innuendo? Not only is this crass, but mind-numbingly self-centered as well; as if we needed to promulgate that stereotype that the world has about Americans.

Also, the movie was a tad bit long. At almost 150 minutes, I felt that at times, it dragged a LOT, and that it was going nowhere. Verdict? If you're looking for a two-and-a-half-hour getaway from reality, there's a lot more things that you could do to better spend your time, but I won't completely hold it against you if you saw this movie voluntarily.

Rating: C/C-

Episode Twenty-One: Let’s Go, OK Go!

It is a well-known urban legend that pharmacy students in their Acute Care block, including the General Medicine rotation, have made a silent deal with the higher powers to maintain sanity and the opportunity to make it through rotations intact in exchange for their unbridled freedom and social lives (or any semblance of a life for that matter) for 6 weeks. I for one can attest to this. But when one of my favorite bands, OK Go!, makes its way from its Los Angeles hub to this fog-forsaken city, well I just had to make an exception. Repercussions be damned.

I was really excited to see them live, since I've never seen their live show before. I have been listening to them for years, and one of the things that I like about OK Go is that they're actually artists in that they are in the music business to create art that's both visually and acoustically appealing. Who would've thunk?

Their videos are very entertaining and full of character. They have a penchant for choreography-inspired videos, as evidenced by a lot of their videos, like their first video that went viral, "A Million Ways". Yes, they're the band with the "treadmill video" (for Here It Goes Again), one of the most popular music videos on YouTube. They're also known for their outlandish videos, like the video for "This Too Shall Pass" featuring a Rube Goldberg machine built by Synn Labs and the wallpaper-inspired video for "Do What You Want".

I found myself singing along loudly to all the songs that I knew the lyrics to. I've recently downloaded their new album, "Of the Blue Colour of the Sky", so I didn't know the lyrics to the songs by heart quite just yet, though to familiarize myself (and to get "pumped" for the concert), I listened to their new album for a couple days prior to the concert non-stop. They opened with "Invincible" from their first album, Ok Go!. Thereafter, they played a good mixture of old (A Million Ways, Oh Lately It's So Quiet, Seems like a Good Idea at the Time, Here it Goes Again) and new (Needing/Getting, All is not Lost, Back from Kathmandu, This Too Shall Pass) material, performing each song with gusto and passion.

Just when you thought they couldn't get any better, they blow your pants off with something out-of-the-ordinary and wildly inventive. At first, when they brought out a bunch of hand bells and a glockenspiel, I thought, what the hey? And then as soon as I heard the first few notes to "What to Do", I, along with the rest of the crowd, erupted in pure fascination and awe.

And just how would you top that amazing performance? Of course, as the lead singer, you'd do a song in the middle of the crowd! Which is precisely what lead singer Damian Kulash did, performing "Last Leaf" from their latest album "Of the Blue Colour of the Sky" by himself as he serenaded the more-than-appreciative crowd.

They even had the crowd "choose" a song to play: either the Pixies' "Debaser" or their own song "You're So Damn Hot" (which apparently is a song they do not like performing); the tribe had spoken, and had chosen YSDM, which was great, though it would've been awesome to see them cover a Pixies song and see how they can infuse their own artistic mark into the song.

As a side note, I've never really gotten the point of having an "encore". Out of ego, perhaps? But in this case, their encore actually made sense; there was a different vibe to it. For crying out loud, they had jackets with illuminating letters spelling OK GO as they performed their encore set (WTF?, Skyscrapers, and Do What You Want) with laser guitars. Yes, ladies and gentleman, laser guitars. OH-EM-GEE. The constants throughout the performance (and the encore) were the confetti showers and the rocking performance by the group.

Was I tired beyond belief the next day? (In a Sarah Palin voice) You betcha ! But it was worth it. Best $22.50 I've ever spent. Next up, The New Pornographers in July at the Fox Theatre! I might have to brave the big bad outside world and cross the treacherous pond to Oakland to see them.

Episode Twenty: Single in the City does Bay-to-Breakers

What does a responsible pharmacy student do after coming home from a debauchery-filled vacay in Miami? Why attend Bay-to-Breakers the next day, of course! First day of acute care rotations be damned!

My friend Kat, his boyfriend Mark and a few of their co-workers and friends had decided weeks ago that we were all going to "participate" in Bay-to-Breakers. We ended up deciding that "Jersey Shore" would make a timely and appropriate theme for us to coordinate to. Kat and I decided that we were going to be "Snooki". As a preface, I have never watched a single episode of "Jersey Shore" nor do I intend to. But for the spirit of doing justice to Snooki, I researched a few photos/video clips of hers, and apparently, she's really into having her hair styled in what could only be described as a hideous camel-hump-like contraption, apparently called "the bump".

I got in late from Miami the night before, and so I didn't really have that much time to get supplies to make the "bump". I thought I had left over mousse/hairspray/gel from when I used to have shorter hair; it may be hard to believe, but once upon a time, I did have shorter hair (and if you look at my driver's license photo, it's WAY shorter). Lacking the supplies, and the necessary things to tease my hair (flat iron and blow dryer; I forgot that I've always borrowed them from people), I decided that we were going to forgo the bump, and instead, to just wear something skimpy. That's still in line with Snooki's essence.

It was a bit nipply outside (a cool and crisp mid-50s was the high), especially when you are meagerly dressed, but when you're surrounded by throngs and throngs of people, it doesn't seem to be so bad. The EtOH doesn't hurt either.

Seeing that I lived a half a block near the parade turn on Divisadero and Hayes, I decided that I was going to join our crew at this juncture. I wasn't about to wake up at the crack of dawn to make it in time to Embacardero by 7:15am. Also, the Hayes Hill can be quite unforgiving (at its steepest, it's about an 11% grade), though I have been always amazed as to how the gigantic floats (which are pulled uphill manually by equally inebriated fellows) make it up the hill without rolling back and smashing the sloshed people behind it.

You had your staple costumes: the pirates, the lifeguards, the cross-dressers and the naked men, though I would have to say, I only saw five of them (which is a bit lower compared to previous years in my experience). There were a couple of standouts for me. I really liked the bikers in their Elvis-like get up, though I would have to say that my favorite costume/theme was the shuttercock/badminton group; it's so random and well put together.

In my years of doing Bay-to-Breakers, I had never gone past JFK and Conservatory West Drive in Golden Gate Park, and as I had found out, there was a good reason why; the floats exit the parade here. When you're walking that far, aside from the EtOH, the thing that keeps me going is the music coming from these floats. It's like a giant moving-street-block-party, with the locals (and the voyagers) dancing along to the same beat, if only temporarily. However, this year, my friends' after party was at their brand new pad near Ocean Beach, on 42^nd Avenue, so we trekked through the park and made it almost to the finish line, and I'd have to say that the crowd was a little bit more subdued; perhaps it was due to the alcohol wearing off or if the fatigue was setting in. However, I'd say the clam dip made it worthwhile.

Here's to hoping that next year's Bay-to-Breakers would be a bit on the warmer side and as salacious as ever. Fist Bump!

Episode Nineteen – Bienvenidos a Miami

It's been a trip that I've been looking forward to for weeks, the light at the end of (actually it's more an 1/8^th) the rotations tunnel. I've never been to Miami, much less Florida, and I was beyond stoked when we finally settled on Miami as our break destination. I have a friend who lives in West Palm Beach, but she was going to be in Tampa the same week, so I wasn't going to be able to meet up with her.

The Company

Aside from me, Krystal and Nikolai (also known as Krystolai), Sara Nik, Amy and Walter, Jeremiah, Francis (Jeremiah's friend), Trevor, Devon (Trevor's friend), and Kirtan (Devon's friend from NY) made up our liver-wrecking crew as we hit Miami Beach by storm! We haven't seen each other, at least all of us, since we went our separate ways for rotations.

The Accommodation

We wanted to have a reasonably affordable hotel and at the same time, be as close to the "South Beach" scene as possible, and so we settled on Hotel Shelley, and it wasn't a bad choice at all. Sure, the hallways smell a lot like urine, or that the showers don't have a door and every time you take a shower, you create a mini-puddle. True, the rooms were a bit small, especially when you're cramming in 4-5 people to a room, but it wasn't too bad. Hotel Shelley is an Art-Deco building close enough to all the hotspots in SoBe. But the best part about Hotel Shelley, aside from its convenient location? Open Bar from 7-8pm every night, which we took full advantage of. We immediately bonded with JC, the 40 year old bartender (who looks like he's in his late 20s/early 30s) father of two (22 and 17 years old) and Gladys, who also bartends across the way at Lily's.

The food

Apparently, Miami Beach is known for its burgers! Actually, they were not, but it would seem that way, since I'm pretty sure I ate a burger (or four) a day while I was there; Krystal even brought some FatBurgers on the plane ride home. But the best burger EVER (yes, even better than In n Out – I know, sacrilegious!) has to be Five Guys Burgers and Fries! The meat is delicious, plus you get to put a lot of good toppings (grilled mushrooms, grilled onions, jalapeño peppers, and others) for free, and the fries were amazing!

We only really ate out as a group twice, once when we got lunch at a pita place (which was awesome) the day after we got in, and the other time was when we went to Sushi Samba Dromo. Coordinating feeding time with eleven people is a bit hard, especially when you wake up at different times of the day. That and achieving steady state of inebriation throughout the day was apparently higher on the agenda for the week.

The leisurely activities

The weather was quite balmy, mostly in the mid 80's, with a relaxing breeze from time to time keeping things nice and cozy. My only slight complaint was that at times, it was a bit cloudy. But for the most part, it was perfect beach weather. Relaxing in the afternoon while soaking up the rays, with a cold brewsky and checking out the scenery: a guy can get used to this.
And speaking of the scenery, man, was it a sight. There wouldn't be such a thing called a "South Beach Diet" for nothing, right? Like my friend said, when you live in a beautiful beach town like Miami beach, there's that internal and external pressure to look your best, whereas if you live in a colder area, evolutionarily speaking, you're probably more inclined to have "insulation". But what a beautiful sight! There are guys showing off in the pull up bars doing god knows how many pull ups to impress the adoring crowd. Not that I'm the one to complain.

The Life Lessons Learned

1. Be careful of your belongings – South Beach can be particularly treacherous when it comes to belongings. Case-in-point: someone from my group got their purse stolen, while another lost their phone while cavorting around the beach at night.
   
2. The best way to cure a hangover is to drink another drink – hahaha
   
3. Though to prevent wicked hangovers, it is probably wise to eat something beforehand, and especially avoid anything longer than a 12-hour fasting period.
   
4. Having things open until 5am can be a lifesaver
   
5. Along the same topics of a lifesaver, don't underestimate the life-saving power of a floatie
   
6. Sometimes, the best conversations you'll have with your friend is while eating questionable Cuban food at the airport.
   
7. It doesn't matter where you are – Miami Beach or Beaver Meadow, PA, as long as you surround yourself with good company, you're bound to have a good time.
   
8. What happens in SoBe, stays in SoBe, except if you took photos/videos. Those ridiculous photos/videos will live on in digital format forever in ignominy.
   

 

I live for the nights that I can't remember with the friends that I will never forget. Can't wait until our next week break in August. Did anyone say EuroTrip?

Episode Eighteen: To want and to have: one in the same or a dichotomy?

Nothing ventured, nothing gained
New horizons, ready to paint…
We'd only find ourselves by
Losing all control

Beyoncé – "Control"

In life, nothing worth having comes easily; nothing worth having comes without putting some sort of effort. I'm not cynical enough to think that someone who is "too good to be true" might really just be really good, and not "too good". Though if I were a betting man (and I'm not, I'm more of a shopper/people-watcher/pool-dipping kind of guy when I go to Vegas), I'd say that yes, he is a mirage.

A few months back, I was having a conversation with one of my friends over dinner and among the topics we discussed, aside from news and current events,(the impending Greek financial doom was just bubbling under the surface then) was our recent dating adventures. I was bemoaning the idea of dating, and how hard it is to find a suitable person to date in this city, in spite of what everyone else tells me. In a city that has been historically renowned for its tolerance and that features enclaves like the Castro, Noe Valley, Folsom Gulch/SOMA, and Polk Street Gulch, the common prevailing wisdom suggests this city is teeming with potentials. The next person that tells me this will get a comprehensive metacarpal impression in the jugular vein. Ok, well maybe that's a bit hyperbolic, but you get my drift.

She astutely reminded me that I can't complain about how there's no one out there for me when I haven't put the time and effort to find that person. To which I answered, touché.

There is a palpable disconnect between my actions concerning my love life versus the rest of my life. Like I've mentioned before, I'm a bit reticent when it comes to the affairs of the heart, which is a complete departure from how I approach other things in life. Maybe it's that when it comes to love, I'm ceding some control of my happiness to another person, and that's unnerving. There is that sense of vulnerability and that inescapable feeling that I might get hurt.

Frankly, as a student, I really don't have THAT much time to be raking through the proverbial haystack for that needle. But we'll never find that person sitting around idly twiddling our thumbs. If I have one more person tell me that "it will happen when you least expect it" or "you'll find someone when you're not looking", or any variants of these phrases, I might actually implode. Oops, there's that hyperbole rearing its ugly head again.

So taking her (and my own) advice, I have been putting myself out there a bit more. I'm trying to come out of my clammed-up shell and experience the joys and pains of dating. As Beyoncé said, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?

However, just because you put yourself out there, doesn't guarantee that you'll actually get what you want. There are no absolute guarantees in life (except death and taxes). Inevitably, yes, I'll get hurt. And yes, recent experiences certainly hadn't gone the way that I want them to be, to the point of me rethinking this whole strategy. But then again, isn't that just part of life? We're so afraid of getting hurt, but sometimes, the actions that we take only shield us from continued growth as a person; losing all control may be the prescriptive solution to cure our hearts' ailments. And besides, what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right?

Alexander Pope said it best on his "Essay on Man": hope springs eternal. What makes us go through life's trials and tribulations is the prospect of a better life ahead. So you kiss a few toads along the way, but isn't it life more about the process than the final destination?

Next week, get a double dose of Single in the City! I'll be visiting Miami Beach with a few friends this upcoming week, and one of my favorite only-in-San-Francisco-lunacy Bay-to-Breakers is this weekend, and so I will be doing some on-the-field reporting. Finally solved the Vitamin-D-deficiency plague that seems to be affecting pharmacy students, but poor, poor liver; such is the joy of life.

PS: Congratulations to my esteemed colleague, Jed Wolpaw, for finishing medical school, and for many thanks for all of his wonderful insights and perceptive commentaries that he's provided over the years as the "Lub Dub" guy. We'll miss you! Happy trails!

Episode Seventeen : Restaurant Review - Bisou

Bisou
2367 Market Street
San Francisco, CA 94114
Neighorhood: Castro
415-556-6200
$$$ (out of $$$$$)
Five out of Five Stars

The lovably-huggable Chef Nick Ronin (of Chou Chou fame) does it again with Bisou, the newest restaurant in the heart of Castro. Bisou or "petit baises" means "little kisses" in French. It's about time that Nick infused his infectious and incredible persona in this neck of the woods, where pretentiousness and overpriced meals rule this fiefdom.

As usual, I was accompanied by my Chou Chou partners-in-crime Meg and Kat, and we were joined that night by Nancy (Meg's mom), Robert (Meg's friend) and his Jared. And as usual, I arrived a bit later than our 8pm reservation (though to my defense, I did warn them ahead of time). The opening night was definitely busy, even when I (finally) arrived at 9pm, there were still people waiting to get tables.

Its swanky interiors will definitely appeal to the Castro crowd. The red plush velvet has that warm and cozy feeling to it. I especially liked the mirror at the end of the "tunnel"; it was a nice touch. The fully stocked bar had stacks and stacks of beautiful bottles of liqueur. There was a second level, but I didn't get a chance to check it out; I saw pictures though (from the stills that Nick showed us when he was getting ready for the grand opening), and it looked very stylish without being overpowering.

Food preparation and presentation was impeccable, from the appetizers to the entrées and the desserts (more on that later). Bisou employs traditional French cuisine techniques and uses locally and organically grown products. The Salt Spring Island Mussels were great, though I still have a soft spot for the moulles from Chou Chou. The Beef Bourguignon was absolutely perfect; marinated for 24 hours and then braised for 4 hours, the beef really soaks in all of the rich flavors coming from the red wine broth, garlic, thyme, pancetta, mushrooms, and bay leaves. The Truffle Duck Leg Confit was so full of flavor; it was near-impossible to imbue any more flavors in the poor duck. The Steak Frites and its sauce (Bercy, Béarnaise and port shallot sauce) was so mouthwatering; the sauces complemented the meat quite delectably, and at times it was hard to choose which sauce to use.

Wine selection was commendable; compared to Chou Chou, Bisous had more California wines, and sadly, to my recollection, there was not a Malbec in the wine list. Our party had an assortment of red and white wine, but the one that I liked the most was the Grenache from Shannon Ridge, a Lake County Vineyard.

The desserts were amazing! I got the chance to meet James Choplin, Bisou's pastry chef (they're making a comeback!). And no, don't let the American-sounding last name fool you (he's from France); James can make some damn good patisseries. He pretty much told me that the Bisou experience wouldn't be complete without trying his desserts, and he was right. We got two orders of the Le Bisous pour deux, a 4-piece sampler of the desserts they offer; what can I say, we're desserts people. Each one was devilishly delectable in its own right. There was the Chocolate Caresse, a milk chocolate and caramel mouse with crème anglaise which was incredibly rich without being overpoweringly sweet. Then there was L'After Height, mint Mille Feuilles with a thin black chocolate leaf; normally, I don't like mint-flavored desserts, but this one had its way with me. The Pineapple Express was a collection of seasonal fruits with yogurt sorbet and crispy banana tuile served in a sugar glass. Patrick was not kidding when he said that the "Le Macaron" was not to be missed; French macaron, light pistachio cream, and fresh raspberries were like little drops of heaven.

Service was impressive, taking into consideration that it was their opening night. It also helps that my party knows most of the waitstaff, so it wasn't too bad waiting for the food to come. Also, as a shout-out, someone from Yelp gave a review saying that the bartender (I'm guessing Antoine) looked like Beyoncé; I would have to agree.

Bisou also offers a prix-fixe menu (from 5:30 to 7pm) for $26, something that is quite amenable to a poor starving student like me. Another plus is their kitchen is open late, Thursday to Sundays, until 1am! The menu is pared down to the "late-night" menu starting at 10:30pm, however it's still a pretty appetizing lineup: pasta (around $11), pizza (around $10ish), and Croque Monsieur/Madame (around $9ish) are a good alternatives to dining options in the Castro. For a vibrant metropolis, San Francisco needs more late-night options, and Bisou is step towards rectifying the dearth of food options.

Bisou also serves weekend brunches, from 9am-3pm. Not to be undone by other brunch places in the area, Bisou also offers bottomless mimosas and Bloody Marys. And if the thumping dance music from Lime has gotten old, a live swing band will tickle your fancies during the weekend brunches. Not to mention, you'll probably want to ACTUALLY eat the food, instead of tolerating it. I'm looking forward to having my Croque Monsieur, Croque Madame, or Omelette Parisienne on lazy Sunday afternoons.

I imagine Bisou being added to our regular restaurant rotation. It's just a bus ride down from my house, there are some holdovers servers from Chou Chou (makes reservations a breeze), and it's fairly reasonably priced. You've got a live one here, Ronin! May the curse of the Panam/Frisee/Crave be lifted from this amazing space! Maybe all it needed was a little Bisou!

Season Two, Episode Sixteen: The Art of Letting Go

Persistence versus wishful thinking/stupidity... When does one end and the other begin? Or are they just different sides of the same coin?

In life, how do we know when to persevere and when to give up? When do we fight on and when do we throw in the towel and wave the white flag?

For the most part, I would say I'm pretty realistic. I know my capabilities and my (ever increasing) shortcomings, and so, in most endeavors that I encounter, I can assess whether or not the task on hand is within my grasps, a bit of a reach, or has a meteor-landing-on-your-house probability of happening.

One of the things that I've learned to let go were grades. Coming into undergrad, I was that typical Honors/AP student, the go-getter and overachieving type. That big fat C in General Chemistry fall quarter of freshman year was all it took to derail me from that "straight A's" train that I was so certain I wanted to be a part of. At that moment in time, I had a realization that while grades matter to a certain extent, it wasn't the "end-all-be-all" that I thought at the time, and that learning was more important that regurgitation. It's not so much that I lost the will to persevere to get the good grades. I just came into the realization that it was displaced wishful thinking to strive to have a letter grade represent my capabilities.

These past two years, when I took on what seemingly were too many responsibilities, I definitely had my trying moments. I'm the first one to admit that there were times where I felt I was a bit over my head, overwhelmed with the responsibilities that came with each position. But I was confident in my abilities and my resolve, and even more so, I was confident in my support system. Sure, there were times when I felt like giving up, but I had my friends' and family's unrelenting support and I was able to get through some rough patches.

When it comes to relationships (or potential relationships), I'd like to think that the same axiom holds true for me. However, to me, it becomes exponentially murky and befuddling. It's always a see-saw battle of giving up versus fighting through, but when I fight through, more often than not, I feel like I'm swinging with my one of my hands tied behind my back, an eye patch on one eye and in a really foggy area in the midst of a vast quicksand.

To make matters more complex, I tend to be ATTRACTED to a lot of people, but when it comes to LIKING someone, I'm a bit more selective. So, when I actually find that SOMEONE that crossed the attraction threshold into the "like" category, I tend to pursue it like there's no tomorrow, to the occasional chagrin of some of my friends.

In terms of relationships, how do I know when to give up and when to keep pursuing someone? How often must we put ourselves in a vulnerable position to find out the answer? How often am I willing to stick my neck out and put my ego on the line? For me, I think about the potential gains versus the perceived risks, but more importantly, I think about the person that I'm interested in and see if he's worth all the "trouble". At the same time, everything is magnified, every text message overanalyzed, every Facebook status update scrutinized, every brief encounter replayed over and over searching for clues to lead me one way or the other.

I don't have all the answers; I might never do, but one thing is certain: I won't pretend that I know all there is to it about relationships, and that's where my trusted friends enter the picture. Sometimes, when we're involved with someone, we can develop myopic viewpoints and tangential conclusions; getting a different perspective from another person that you trust can only help. Not to say that I solely rely on their inputs to dictate what I do (last time I check, I still had a functioning brain), but I definitely take their opinions into consideration.

So you ask why not just ask straight up, right? As much as this is what I would do in any other situation, sadly, as I've been told by countless friends, the "games" are necessary evils, especially in a budding relationship. I'm still trying to wrap my head around that concept; the jury's still out on this one, but for now, I'll begrudgingly play along.

I'd like to say that I have the relationship quagmire as figured out as other aspects of my life, but sadly, this isn't the case. Is it worth all the trouble? I'd like to think to think that somewhere in the galaxy, there's that person that will make all that persistence worth it. Here's to hoping that I've found him already.

Season Two, Episode Fifteen: Intern in the City

The last few weeks have been kind of a blur. I remember taking my last Therapeutics final EVER. Then there was that 20 minute Health Economics final. Then I remember having my Therapeutics Oral Exam with Dr. Lee about a patient who has a cryptococcus infection. Then somehow, we were all done.

It was a bit anticlimactic. We had different scheduled times for the Oral Exams, and since the Oral Exams were our last final EVER, we all got done in different times. But for the most part, it was surreal. I've spent the last 8 quarters with my classmates, trudging through 8 am classes (some during our third year! How unfair is that!), frantically reviewing (or in some cases viewing) notes for an upcoming exam and having the time of our lives as we traverse through pharmacy school with a wonderful city like San Francisco as a backdrop (or in some cases, a critical co-star). And now the moment has finally come when we went our separate ways, albeit temporarily. For most of them, the next time we'll see each other will be during Graduation (in May 2011). I am one of the "lucky" ones to call San Francisco home for the next 9 months for rotations, but some of my dear friends have been assigned to the other satellite rotation sites for UCSF like Davis, Fresno (Fres-YES!), LA/OC, North Bay, and South Bay.

However, it felt good to be finally be done with didactic learning! Well technically for me, I still have a quarter left of classes (since I'm part of the Health Policy and Management pathway), so not really, but for the most part, we've all reached the point where we can apply all the theoretical knowledge that we've managed to soak up (or cram in some instance) and practice it in real-life patient interactions.

I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous about this impending change. Rotations are a big deal. We're not playing with made-up patient cases anymore, so if I forget the dose on the test, in the grand scheme of things it's not that big of a deal, but now, we're dealing with actual people now, with presenting cases that are not as clear-cut or as neatly arranged for us. There's no "problem list" for us to look at and know what to deal with. For the most part though, I was very excited to start rotations. I'm the kind of person that learns a lot more effectively when I put concepts into practice.

So far, my life outside of pharmacy didactic learning is going well. For my first rotation block, I was assigned to Ambulatory Care for 6 weeks then followed by a week break, and then my General Medicine Acute Care block for 6 weeks. The last two six-week block will be my electives (Acute Care Pain Management at VA-SF, and Hospital Administration at SFGH).

After talking to a few of my classmates, I'm definitely glad that I started my rotations with Ambulatory Care. Coming into it, I've heard that it is a very doable rotation; not necessarily easy, but manageable. If this past week is a barometer, I'd say they were right on. I'm extremely happy so far with the clinics that I was assigned to. One of the things that I like about the Ambulatory Care set up is that I get to talk to patients one-on-one, and I get to manage their disease states or any acute disease they may be presenting with. Mostly though, I like the way the patients are receptive to our efforts, and that they are active participants in improving their health.

I'm partially dreading my upcoming block, because if it's anything like how my friends/classmates have described it, it'll be a seemingly impervious uphill climb a la 3^rd Avenue proportions. Heavy patient load (working up 18 patients a day is not unheard of), unreal expectations, copious amounts of stress and circling thoughts of imbecilities and uncertainties are all in a 12-hour-day's work (if not more). And you wake up early the next day for the next 5 days, and press repeat for the next 6 weeks.

But I feel as though this first six weeks will only help me prepare for the worst. I say this now, but we'll see if I'm still standing after this block.

PS: Last week's column was in fact an April Fools' Day edition of Single in the City. So, for the record, I'm still NOT engaged, and I didn't fly out to Milan. If only.

“Relapse” – Single in the City: Season Two, Episode Fourteen: Trouble in Paradise?

Last season, on Single in the City:

On Thursday, while we were enjoying the sunset at the cliffs, out of nowhere, he dropped in one knee (I know, how traditional of him), revealed this beautiful bracelet (because he knows I'm not a big fan of rings), asked for my hand and said "I'm yours forever, will you be mine?"

That was one of the happiest moments of my short but topsy-turvy life. The moment when Antoni Diamante asked me to be his forever. I didn't think I could feel that mushy, but in that instance I did, and every time I wear my Czech-glass-bead-adorned-bracelet, I do.

"Calm continueth not long without a storm." – Unknown, 1576

Oh, the engaged life, it can be fickle at times. On top of that, trying to live out a long-distance engagement makes life a bit more complicated.

It's been about year since Antoni and I have been engaged. For the most part, things are going well between Antoni and me. He finished his PhD Fellowship in Architecture from Sapienza Universita di Roma this past summer, and he was quite fortunate enough in this global economic climate to secure a plum position as an Associate Architect at Mario Bellini Associati (the same firm that has secured prestigious appointments such as the National Gallery of Victoria in Melbourne, the Tokyo Design Center, and the Museum of Islamic Art at the Louvre in Paris). Being a new associate to the firm, he's trying his earnest to make a good impression, and with it comes long hours, herculean tasks, and demanding clients. Needless to say, he is a bit short on time. However, he has made the effort of visiting me twice since he's moved to Milan for work. And we try to schedule a weekly Skype chat session to keep contact, though the 9 hour difference can make making time for a weekly chat a struggle at times. But again, anything that's worth having is worth all the work, right?

So you may ask yourself, what IS the problem? The last time he was in town, it was a week before my finals. I told him that I won't have much time to hang out since I would be busy freaking out and cramming for my last Therapeutics final. And also, it happened to be that the Saturday before my finals week was MHC's third monthly clinic.

Anthony is a volunteer at the clinic that I work for, MHC. He's a member of the Executive Committee (to which I am a part of also), and as such, we see each other frequently. We've also developed a friendly relationship, which would've been the source of contention as it turned out. I am the first one to admit that he's quite the good looking medical student that he is, but beyond that, there's nothing between us.

Antoni has seen a few photos of Anthony and I on Facebook (the evil big brother strikes again!) and there were some photos that were, in hindsight, a bit too friendly. Nothing scandalous or Lindsay-Lohan-esque, but viewed from a different perspective, it can be seen being suggestive and bubbling with intrigue. We'd talked about him before, and I thought we've ironed that problem out, but as I was about to find out, those pictures still bothered him.

When I told him that I have clinic that Saturday, he asked me who was going to be there. I didn't mind the question, but I answered it anyway. He asked if he (Anthony) was going to be there. I said: "yes, but why does that matter?" That's when he blew a gasket.

A simple argument turned into a full-fledged fight. That was the first time that I had ever seen him jealous. As in hopping mad, fuming-in-the-ear jealous. We had plans to spend my 11-day spring break in San Francisco, but he left for Milan 13 days early.

I thought of doing a "grand gesture" by flying to Milan during my spring break, and at first, I decided against it, mostly because of the hefty price tag that little act of love would've cost me (a shade under $1500). Was J-Lo right? Shouldn't love not cost a thing?

In the end, I ended up hopping on a redeye flight from San Francisco to Milan via Munich. When I finally tracked him down a few days later (he went to his grandparents in Tuscany), we hashed it out. He said that he needed a bit of time to think things through but that he still cares about me. Did we rush into this whole thing? Were we too blinded by that whirlwind winter romance two years ago in Paris? These were the questions that he had on his head, and the ones that he's looking for answers to in our time apart that he's requesting. He apologized for acting so brashly, but that at the time, that's how he felt. I apologize for not taking his feelings, and I understood that he needed time to figure things out.

Maybe because I was upset, maybe I was tired or maybe I thought my life my shattering, but as I was going through the security gates in the Malpensa Airport in Milan, I took off the bracelet, and as I was doing so, the bracelet snapped and the glass beads scattered all over the security checkpoint area. Was this a sign that things between Antoni and me are over? I want to believe that I can still repair the bracelet. There's still a chance of rainbow after the storm.

Episode Thirteen: Loan Repayments, anyone?

Instead of "cramming" for my Health Economics final, I opted to attend the lunch hour talk "Successful Strategies for Loan Repayment", hosted by the Student Financial Aid office and co-sponsored by the Student Activity Center. The featured speaker was Jeff Hanson, the Director of Borrower Education Services with Access Group. I was glad that I went; it was a better use of my time.

I pride myself in being able to take care of my financial responsibilities, but one of the things that I've not really put that much thought into was how exactly I was going to repay my student loans. All in all, I'm looking at a $140k+ incurred debt, including my undergraduate loans.

The Public Service Loan Forgiveness Program sounds enticing; the way it works is that you need to have worked full-time (working on average of at least 30 hours/week, or the number of hours the employer considers "full-time") for a total of 120 months in a "qualifying public service position" AND you've made 120 qualifying loan payments on Federal DIRECT Loans during period of qualifying public service employment. The "qualified" public service organization include federal, state, or local government organizations/agencies, and most charitable non-profit organizations (those that have received a 501(c)(3) designation from the IRS). The 120 months of full-time work and the 120 payments do not have to be consecutive. Fulfill those requirements, and the rest of the loan is forgiven. Sounds simple enough, but I'm not counting on this to make the debt disappear.

Jeff also went over the different repayment plans for Stafford, Grad PLUS, and consolidation loans: Standard (fixed), graduated, extended, income-sensitive and income-based repayment (IBR). The standard repayment schedule is a fixed payment structure for 10 years; the good thing about this plan is that you will incur the lowest total interest but the bad thing about this is that you'll have the highest initial payment. The graduated plan is a tiered payment structure for 10 years, with interest-only payments initially, and incremental increases on payment, with monthly payments not exceeding THREE times greater than any other payment ("3 times rule"). The extended repayment plan is a fixed or tiered payment structure for 25 years, with one of the lowest initial payments and NO income considerations. To qualify, the debt must be >$30,000 (I have MORE than that) and the loan must have been originated after October 1998 (that's still me). Income sensitive repayment (ISR) has an annually adjusted payment structure for 15 years based on Total Gross Income. ISR is also subject to the "3 times rule", and eligibility and payment amount is re-evaluated every year. IBR also has an annually adjusted payment structure, this time for 25 years, and is based on household Adjusted Gross Income (AGI), household size, poverty guidelines and State of residence. The poverty guidelines are based on the amount of debt, so for me, according to the 2009 Poverty Guidelines, the maximum AGI needed for me to qualify for IBR ($140k in debt), is $145,135, assuming a 6.8% interest rate, a household size of 1 residing in one of the 48 contiguous states. Also, to enter IBR, the borrower must have "partial financial hardship".

After listening to the speaker, I'm leaning towards using IBR or the extended repayment plan. One of the things that I took away from the talk was the idea of debt as a portfolio. I plan on using inflation to my advantage on this one. $140,000's value now is not going to be the same value 10 years or 25 years from now. I can use the money that I would save on the monthly payments and appropriate it to my other needs, perhaps increasing my retirement fund contribution, putting more on investments or having more disposable income.

To view the presentation and resource materials that was offered on March 16, go to https://finaid.ucsf.edu/events/117-successful-strategies-loan-repayment

Student Financial Aid is offering additional debt-management services this year. For additional information, please contact Annie Osborne, Resource Adviser, Student Financial Services at annie.osborne@ucsf.edu or call 476-4181.