Episode Nine: Civil Unions vs Marriage: Separate but Equal?

As it reads now, California Family Code Section 300 defines marriage as being “a personal relation arising out of a civil contract between a man and a woman, to which the consent of the parties capable of making that contract is necessary.” 

With Proposition 8’s passage, there has been much discussion as to where do we go from here?  But what I ask is, maybe it is time to “create a separate but equal” institution?  Render the term “marriage” as religious term, and establish civil unions as the federally recognized contract, in keeping with the separation of church and state doctrine of our Constitution.     

Let's make it simple: to obtain benefits provided to couples by the State (taxes, health insurance, among other things), you apply for a civil union, regardless of your gender.   If you want a religious or spiritual blessing, you seek that from your place of worship, whether you're gay or straight. When we follow the Constitution's mandate of the separation of Church and State, we can delineate what each body's business is in the process of uniting people in couplehood.  In this way, we are giving everyone equal rights under the law, without damaging the “meaning” of marriage. 

In an ideal world, this should work.  Alas, that’s not the world we live in, at least right now.  In addition to California, Arizona, Florida, and Arkansas passed anti-gay ballot measures.  Florida and Arizona voters approved a constitutional amendment to limit marriage to opposite sex couples, and in Arkansas, which already has the constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage, has passed a measure to limit adoption and foster care of children to people who are legally married.  

However, there’s hope.  In 2000, Prop 22, which prevented California from recognizing same-sex marriage, passed with a 61.4% approval (38.6% opposed, which were about 2.9 million no on Prop 22 votes); eight years later, support for gay marriage has increased to 47% of the votes casted, to over 5.2 million .  That’s a remarkable turnaround of voter approval.  Exit polls showed that six in 10 voters under 30 objected to Proposition 8, while the same proportion of persons over 65 supported the measure, giving hope that I’ll be able to see acceptance of gay marriage in California during my lifetime.    

In addition, the May 2007 California Supreme Court decision that in essence struck down Prop. 22, has left the door open for a possible repeal of Proposition 8, in the same vein as what happened with Prop. 22.  I have spoken informally with Stuart Gaffney, one of the plaintiffs in this landmark May 2007 case, about the prospects of the recent lawsuits challenging the recent passage of Proposition 8 on grounds that Proposition 8 constituted as a “revision” in the Constitution, which requires a 2/3 vote from both branches of the California State Legislature before being put up for a vote.  He’s cautiously optimistic about the case, in which he bestows his full support and trust on the lead attorneys in this case.

It is also encouraging to see elected officials filing “friend of the court” in opposition of Proposition 8.  And as a country, we’ve elected a president that would usher in change; it also helps that he has backed the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act. 

Above all, if we as a state voted to give farm animals more rights, surely, we can give our fellow human beings the opportunity to express their love, right?  I hope so.  But ultimately, what we all can do to further the cause for equality for all is more education.  Forty years ago, we still had laws prohibiting interracial marriage in sixteen states, until Loving v Virginia deemed these miscegenation laws unconstitutional.  And now, generations later, as a society, we have come to terms of acceptance and tolerance with regards to interracial marriages, and I hope for the same with same-sex marriage.  Tolerance is a dish served best with education, and not cold.

P.S. I higly recommend watching MSNBC's Keith Olbermann's Special Comment on Gay Marriage. At times, I think he could be a bit over the top, but I think this time, he was spot-on, and he eloquently expressed what I would wish to say.  

The Halloween Scene, according to Christian Siriano

Halloween is the time of the year when it’s socially acceptable to unleash our inner fantasies and act out on our fetishes; it's the time of the year when giving your best impersonation of Paris Hilton on donut powder is not only permissible, but socially acceptable as the norm. 

For the longest time, I didn’t know what to be for Halloween.  I almost didn’t want to dress up and go out because rain was in the forecast for Halloween; I don’t like going out in the rain.  And another thing: I’d like to spend as little money as possible on my costumes.  So, I either borrow clothes/costumes from other people or the more likely scenario, I choose costumes that I can still wear after Halloween. Last year, I was a French Man, wearing all black, topped off with a burette (that cost $9); when I was a junior in college, I dressed up on a Navy uniform that I borrowed from my sister. 

More importantly, I hate waiting in lines; I much rather attend house parties on Halloween because of this reason.  No thanks to my busy school schedule, lately, I’ve climbed into such social isolation that this year’s Halloween crept up on me, so I decided to take the easy way out and just attend the KY/DSD party at Suite 181. 

All that was left to do was to figure out what I wanted to be for Halloween, which was harder than I thought.  On my way home from work, my friend and I were throwing around ideas, and given my limitations, there weren’t that many; we finally came to an agreement that I should be Christian Siriano from Project Runway.    I’m not as fierce and fabulous as that diminutive diva, but I figured I could give it a whirl.

Finding the necessary things turned out to be easier than I thought.  After school on Friday, I went out to Crossroads on Irving, and within 5 minutes, found what I needed to channel the classic Christian/Ferosh look:  black-rimmed glasses and a black vest; with my skinny jeans and white tee at home, I was set, and all for under $16.  The hardest part was trying to make my hair look like his, which required blow drying, flat-ironing, dry waxing, and hair spraying the crap out of my hair.  It may seem so hard to believe, but I’m very low-maintenance when it comes to my hair.          

Even with all the damage that my hair sustained, by the time that I got in line for the club, my hair lost its grandiose style.  Luckily, I was able to cut in line with a few of my friends and didn’t have to wait that long to get in. 

As I meandered around the it’s-so-hot-it-feels-like-a-sauna- rooms, I got to check out what crazy costume ideas people came up with.  You had your staples (policewomen, flight attendants, Greek goddesses).  It being an election season, I was disappointed that I didn’t see any Sarah-Palin-look-alikes or her derivatives (moose, Joe Six Packs, Mr. Palin).  There were some good costumes, like a breathalyzer machine (with a properly placed mouth piece), the “Love Robot”, and my friend’s “when pigs fly” costume.  But by far, my favorite costume of the night was the shower curtain; the guy who was “wearing” the costume had his girlfriend (or girlfriend for the night) with him inside.  Creative, naughty, and not nasty, a good combination.  I couldn’t help myself but to close the curtain a few times. 

The thing with Halloween, or for any “big” parties for that matter, is that for the most part, it will not live up to its expectations and hype.  In a sense, sometimes the “chase” is better than the “kill”, that the events and preparation leading up to it can sometimes be more fun the event itself. Don’t get me wrong, I had a good time with my friends, but sometimes, I just don’t get the big deal out of it.  Maybe it’s just our society’s ways of dealing with its hypocritical “moral values”, granting a momentary reprieve to its subjects?  Perhaps as overworked Americans, we have created specific times when we can let loose, so that we can live through the monotonous nature of the “real world” and have something to look forward to?

Maybe next year I should dress up like Paris Hilton? No, I’m too fierce for that female dog.